Pet Loss Grief

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     Dealing with the Loss of a Pet 

Most of us consider our pets as family members. The days of "just a dog/cat" are pretty much over. Some of us don't even have children so our pets act as that for us. When people ask me if I have kids (I don't due to medical reasons.) I say four legged ones with tails.

It has been well known that pets make us calmer and healthier, even lowering blood pressure. Many studies have been done on the Human-Animal Bond indicating the importance of this link.

So when the loss of a pet occurs, either from "running away" to actually dying, it it a big blow to those attached. Believe me it often includes the veterinary staff that cared for the pet over the years as well as the family.

Many things happen. People may fell like they failed to help the pet or the veterinarians did. Often there is no way to help other than to help the animal out of it suffering through the use of euthanasia. Still a sense of "I wish I could've helped more." often exists.

People often feel they have lost control (the ability to start, change and stop things in life) when a loss occurs. The disease couldn't be controlled. Or what if I had controlled the pet better, he wouldn't have run away. Or any such ideas.

Sometimes people feel they have done something wrong. Maybe they feel they waited to long to get treatment. Maybe they regret not spending more time when the pet was alive or any other regrets a person could have.

Most ways of dealing with loss involve either waiting for "Time to heal all wounds." which unfortunately is not a true statement. Time actually stacks wounds on top of each other. Have you ever heard someone rattle off a chain of losses of the past when facing the possibility of one in the present? This is a common thing in the veterinary profession. A pet is dying and the owner says something like I can't lose my pet because I lost one last year and my Dad a few years back. I just can't take another loss.

The other way people try to deal with grief is through talking with people in a support group. Sharing pleasant stories is good, if it doesn't stir up the loss and negative emotions attached with that. Most of the time any discussion of the pet will bring the loss into view to some degree, though.

So is there any way to actually deal with loss or is it something we have to just grin and bear for life? Yes, there is an actual permanent handling-one where you keep all the good memories and don't suffer from the bad. The full details are at A quick way to relieve current distress over loss is at number 5 listed there. Look it over, try it and regain the happiness and love you've lost in life due to losses of pets, people or any other thing in life you valued;

If you have any questions please e-mail me at

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